365 Picture Project- Week 2

Feb 8

Sprinkles cupcakes- the two seasonal ones.  Red Hot Velvet and Raspberry Chocolate Chip.  The Raspberry one- A.MAZ.ING.

Feb 9

This is actually at the mall in Burbank.  I’ve never understood why is says soundstage…

Feb 10

If you’ve read the alst couple posts involving my brother, you understand this picture.  I bought it on the way home on Thursday because at the time, I thought Thursday was a bad day.

Feb 11

Friday turned out to be a much longer day than Thursday, so I didn’t have time to be creative.  This is a big tree by my house.

Feb 12

A friend of mine is getting divorced and I went with her late Friday night to pick up some things in Phoenix.  This is from our drive back early Saturday morning.  I got excited about the cactus.

Feb 13

A cute window display at the dog bakery by my apartment.

Chapter 2: The Stand Off

Last Thursday, I spent about 5 hours telling my brother that I would not give him money, that he got himself into this situation, and now he gets to get himself out.  You can read the whole thing a couple posts  back. On my way home on Thursday I stopped by the  liquor store for a little bottle of Jack.  It had been a long day.  Little did I know, this wasn’t even close to the worst of it. 

Friday morning, I’m on Facebook, when this conversation starts:

Brother February 11 at 10:44am

idk if you will get this in time but u r the only family member i love and and everything that just went down over here..well its over. im gunna miss you britt

 Me February 11 at 10:46am

Ronnie, I don’t know what you’re talking about, but don’t do anything stupid. Find someone you can stay with, sell your car, get a job. You have ways out. What happened to the “I’m gonna bust my ass” brother from yesterday?

Upon  getting th message, I called the police, worried that he was going to hurt himself, only to find out they are already there.

 Brother February 11 at 10:49am

i have no money, no place to go, mom called the cops on me for nothing and theres 4 cop cars outside

 Me February 11 at 10:56am

Ronnie, you can find someone to stay with for a little bit. Call Tanner, or Devin or someone.

While on the phone with the dispatcher from the police station, I learn that my brother is sitting inside, armed.  Apprently, my alcoholic mother went over there and they got into a fight.  His story differs from what my mother told other family members, but neither one of them are clean/ sober, so I’m sure the truth lies somewhere outside the stories.  The police can’t go in because his being armed is obviously a threat to them and their safety.  At this point they are trying to find out where he is in the house.  Since my brither still doesn’t have his phone, the only contact he has is with me on facebook.

Brother February 11 at 10:58am

i was gunna handle the law stuff when i was back on my feet but she went ahead and called them over here for a bunch of bullshit and im not going alive

Brother February 11 at 11:01am

this isnt the way i wanted it to end but mom just had to call the cops

Brother February 11 at 11:02am

so id have no money to get out of jail

*When you’re having an armed stand off with the police, I’m not sure that getting out of jail is an option.

 Me February 11 at 11:02am

Well, Ronnie, you know me and the rest of the family wish you wouldn’t do that. We support you and are here to help you. You’ve got a long way to go, but you can get there.

Brother February 11 at 11:02am

so im done

Me February 11 at 11:07am

Ronnie, just please go outside and talk to the officers

Me February 11 at 11:17am

Ronnie, are you still there?
Please go outside.

At this point, the police have been trying to communicate with him from outside the house with a bull horn.

Me February 11 at 11:21am

Ronnie, please don’t do this. You’re stronger than this. Please go outside and talk to the police. We’ll work something out.

Me February 11 at 11:24am

Ronnie, I love you. Please talk to me if you’re still there.

My brother eventually, goes outside.  I’m told by another family member that he’ll be held at a psychiatric evaluation facilty for 72 hours. 

My day was going to involve a job fair, so I throw on a business suit and go.  The job fair turned out to be awful, there were just 4 companies there, so I was there for a little over half an hour.  On the hour drive back home I stop at Chipotle for lunch.

While sitting I get a call from my aunt.  Apparently after three hours, my heroin addicted, gun toting brother has been released.  A guy he used to work withpicked him up, and has taken him over to another friend’s house.  I call the behavorial anaylsis department, and am only told that she can’t tell me if my brother was there, but everyone is evaluated and then either admitted or released.  Apparently, according to the Tulsa Behavorial Department, my brother’s state of mind is perfectly fine.

I speak with my brother a couple hours later, and he all but refuses to discuss it.  He tells me that the entire thing was blown way out of proportion, his suicide note wasn’t real, and the whole thing was stupid.  He also tells me there is no way he is going to rehab, that he has kicked his drug and alcohol addictions three times before and he can do it again by himself.  He continues to complain that he has no money, which is probably the case since he bought a new truck, and that he has nowhere to stay after that night because his friend has to go out of town for work.  I tell him I;m still not giving him money and that he does have options.  I can think of three people off the top of my head he can stay with, and I don’t know any of his friends, so I’m sure there’s more.  He said he’s probably just going to sleep under a bridge. “Fine,” I say.

At this point, I have no idea what my brother is doing.  I spoke with the friend he stayed with, who said Brother had him drop him off at the house.  His friend offered to take him to another friend who had offered up a room, but he said no.  His friend left him a phone to call someone if he needed. 

The fact of the matter is that my brother is so set on doing it his way, he is making it harder for himself.  He has too much pride to ask people for help and it will probably be hos downfall.  I hope he’s not sleeping under a brdige, but if he wants to dismiss his other options, so be it.  He told another friend of his that he would show up on March 11, one month later, with a drug test to show everyone that he was clean.  What he doesn’t understand is that he clearly has bigger issues than drugs and he needs to figure them out.  But we’ll take it one step at a time.  I hope his drug test works out.

Hundreds Stand Up Against Global Warming

For all my friends still stuck in the snow, so close to getting out…

My Pilot Script, Chapter 1: Driving Unisured on Icy Roads

Remember the last week, when I got to write about fun things like dance class and trips to Vegas…

With all the family drama I have going on, I’ve been told I need to write a book.  I’m more in favor of filming a reality show, or perhaps producing a Lifetime movie.  It’s really too bad Mila Kunis is too big to do a Lifetime movie.  We don’t look alike, but I liked her in Black Swan.

Between You and Brother 

Brother February 10 at 10:55am

hey sis, i dont have my phone right this second but need to talk to you as soon as ya can. So ill spend most of the day around this computer because i know you will eventually get on it 

Me February 10 at 11:28am

I’m at work, so I won’t be able to be on a lot. What’s up?

Brother February 10 at 12:07am

well im just in a major predicament. I did buy a new truck, well new to me. it was just a cheap thing so i could get around in the snow and move my stuff when i move outta here. im also selling my car its just kinda hard to sell a mustang right now but i couldnt even get it out of the driveway thats why i got the truck and with what i would have made my selling my car that truck woulda been like $3000 maybe. But i was comin over a hill last night and there was 2 people broke down on the road and i tried my best not to hit em but it was pure ice and i failed in not hitting them and it totalled my truck

*Some people, when it snows, wait until the snow melts.  My brother buys new vehicles to get around in it.  And if you were getting a new weather-capable vehicle, wouldn’t you trade in your old car?  You probably would, unless it was a 2007 Mustang GT and you owed almost $15,000 on it.

Me February 10 at 12:08pm

well, that does sound like a predicament. You probably shouldn’t buy new cars you can’t afford. Your insurance should help you with the cost of your totaled truck.

Brother February 10 at 12:11pm

i could afford it that why i paid cash for it and once i got my car sold i would had even more money

Me February 10 at 12:12pm

okay. So your insurance should pay for it. What’s the predicament.? You still have your Mustang, so you have a way to get around.

Brother February 10 at 12:15pm

i cant get my mustang out of the neighborhood, thats part of the reason i got the truck

Me February 10 at 12:16pm

Well, I can’t really drive you around since I live 2000 miles away. Is there anywhere that’s so important you have to drive there now anyway?

Brother February 10 at 12:19pm

well no not right this second but having a a mode a transportation is nice

Me February 10 at 12:20pm

Yeah, it is. I still don’t know what I have to do with any of this. Use your Mustang when the snow clears. Call your insurance, and they will give you money for the truck.

Brother February 10 at 12:21pm

and with the insurance i put on it theyre not gunna buy me something else

Me February 10 at 12:22pm

okay. Keep your mustang.

Brother February 10 at 12:25pm

well then im just gunna sell it for a truck. i cant drive in this snow shit in my mustang and its not supposed to let up for a couple weeks 

Me February 10 at 12:26pm

okay. Do whatever you want to with your car. It’s yours, not mine.

Brother February 10 at 12:26pm

i cant drive my stang in this snow 

Me February 10 at 12:29pm

What do you want Ronnie? Take the bus, sell the car, don’t go anywhere until the snow lets up. According to weather.com, it’s not supposed to snow again, and should be 60 by Monday.

Brother February 10 at 12:31pm

its just kinda tought to move to okc in a mustang

Brother February 10 at 12:34pm

like moving beds. washer and dryer, dressers, big chairs, etc. 

Me February 10 at 12:35pm

Rent a moving truck

Brother February 10 at 12:46pm

then i cant go to okc to check out the apt im interested in cuz i gotta be outta here in a week and a half

Brother February 10 at 12:48pm

i really needed to borrow some of the money until i sell the car and would have enough money after that to pay it back

Me February 10 at 12:51pm

Ronnie, I’m not giving you any money. I’m also taking the offer to pay for rehab and school of the table. You’ve lied about being clean, asking Tanner for contract work and who knows what else. According to your friend Curtis, you didn’t even have insurance on your truck not “the kind where they aren’t going to give you anything.” You called me a couple weeks ago for grocery money, yet you clearly had enough to go out a buy a truck.

If you need to sell your car quickly, I would suggest taking it to CarMax.

Me February 10 at 12:53pm

You’ve had the same opportunities as me, as everyone else. College, a job, etc. The difference is that you threw them all away. You’ve put yourself into this situation.

 Brother February 10 at 12:55pm

i am clean for 1. and yes tanner said something about contract work, and yes i didnt have insurance on the truck 

*Bam! Didn’t know I knew you were lying about the insurance the whole time, did you?

Me February 10 at 12:56pm

So you lied. And Kathey seems to think you aren’t clean. Especially since you gave Shawn the washer and dryer and don’t even seem to remember. Tanner tried to call you twice and even stopped by the house. You never answered.

Brother February 10 at 12:57pm

i barely had the money to buy the truck cuz i was counting on having the money from my car when i sold it

Me February 10 at 12:57pm

Well, then you should have waited on the truck until you could insure it.

Me February 10 at 12:58pm

And moving to OKC? What happened to the $600/ mo apartment you already signed a lease on near Owasso

Brother February 10 at 12:59pm

and i was clean for almost 2 months until i found my dead father in the garage with pills in hos pocket that I used ot have a problem with and i just wasnt strong yet enough to handle that and say no to them

*My dad has pain pills for his back.  If my brother was clean, why did he feel the need to carry them around so my brother doesn’t steal them.

*Between the time my dad passed away in the hospital Halloween evening, to the time I got home around noon the next day, my brother had stolen $500 from my dad’s wallet, and another $200 with my dad’s ATM card.  I don’t know a lot about drugs, but if he hasn’t been spending his money on drugs, why does he need to steal $700?

Me February 10 at 1:01pm

No you weren’t Ronnie. You had just stolen Grandpa’s pistols. And my GPS. Sorry you had a drug problem, but I’m not a bailout for people that spent their money on heroin. 

Brother February 10 at 1:05pm

you’re not a bailout for a family member who is trying to do everything right to make a better life for themselves

Brother February 10 at 1:06pm

and yeah okc, ive found places cheaper there and owasso wasnt far enough. i wanted to be as far away from everything i knew here

Me February 10 at 1:06pm

No. Like I said, you’ve had the same opportunities as everyone else and you’ve thrown them away. You’ve gone through $50,000 in just over two months?! Sorry you spent it on drugs, but I’m not giving you more money because of it.

Brother February 10 at 1:11pm

and i was clean for a good 6 weeks but dad wasnt in town to see it, the day he got back one of the first things he said to me was, you look a hell of alot better

* Actually, I spoke with my dad when he got back and this was not the case.  He had actually just kicked Ronnie out of the house, and was taking the next week off work to make sure he didn’t come back.

Brother February 10 at 1:12pm

i cant lie and say i havent made mistakes, a lot of em, but i can get on my feel with out help and i have no one to turn to

Brother February 10 at 1:13pm

and ill be homeless as of a week from today

*My brother is currently living with my mother, and I doubt she would kick him out of the house.  But if she is going to kick him out, you know you’ve screwed up when an alcoholic, selfish cunt won’t let you live with her.

 Brother February 10 at 1:23pm

yeah i spent it on drugs, i had a ploblem. but if i wasnt trying to change i woulda bought drugs instead on the truck and the truck was bought to help move to okc to help turn my life around but now im stuck here and will probably fall right back where i was 

Me February 10 at 1:35pm

Well, good for you, I’m glad you want to be clean. But $50,000 is still plenty of money to move with, but you spent it on drugs. You pissed away college and a job that paid you$75,000 a year. You keep on focusing on now, but you didn’t get life insurance money because of what you have put people, not just you through, the past several years.

It’s not my fault you chose to drive on ice around an uninsured car. And I’m not giving you more money because you spent yours on drugs. I hope you change Ronnie, you know that, but if you’re worried about being on drugs again because you can’t move across the state, I would consider spending money on therapy.

I’m not giving you money. End of discussion. Sell your car at CarMax and buy something that will get you from point A to point B. You should have $25 to rent a moving truck left over.

Brother February 10 at 2:08pm

ive actually made a ton of mistakes and thats not the life i wanna life but i can do a 180 overnight. My friends are no help and im down to 1 family member i actually like

Me February 10 at 2:18pm

No, you probably can’t at this point. But if you can’t afford to do something, like move or pay insurance on a new car, you shouldn’t do it. But you’ve had your chances at handouts. Sell your car, then move. Find an apartment you can afford. Two weeks ago, you couldn’t give me any idea of what your monthly expenses are. I would look at what you have, and how far you can get with it. Is moving to OKC really necessary? Is it realistic you can get a job there?

If so, moving trucks are cheap. And you have friends that have trucks.

 Brother February 10 at 2:35pm

yeah i could get a job here. here being a place where i know everybody i know that i ca get drugs from and whatever else. thats why i wanna move to okc so i can get far away from any of that stuff and id love to sell my car but i cant move itll be 2 weeks before i can probably do so, i have till this coming friday to be out of this house

Brother February 10 at 2:39pm

ive found some in okc that are available at $530

*After spending 10 minutes on CraigsList, I found 25 listings cheaper than his apartment.

Me February 10 at 2:39pm

You didn’t answer any questions. Is it realistic you can get a job in OKC? Do you have enough money to live there if you don’t get one? This is a completely different story than the one you were giving me two weeks ago.

You can stay wherever you want. I’m just saying that you need to look at the money that you have, and decide what you can realistically afford to do. You’ve yet to do that. You told me you already leased an apartment in Owasso for $600. There are tons of apartments in Tulsa cheaper than that. Do you even have somewhere to live in OKC? You need to learn to budget what you’ve got. 

Brother February 10 at 2:59pm

i dont have my phone cuz id like to talk to you when you’re not at work

Me February 10 at 3:02pm

That doesn’t make any sense. How are you going to talk to me if you don’t have a phone? How would it be different than talking to me now?

And I’m not giving you money, so if that’s the conversation you’d like to continue, you can save both of our time.

Me February 10 at 3:03pm

Can you get into these apartments with a criminal record and no credit? And can you really afford an apartment for $530 a month for the next 12 months? 

Brother February 10 at 3:33pm

yeah i can get into them, i gotta pay it all upfront which i had the money to do until i got the truck and would be able to again once i get my car sold

Me February 10 at 3:40pm

So you’ve gotten yourself into a position where you drove your car uninsured, and now can’t afford to live anywhere. This is what I’m talking about Ronnie. You shouldn’t have bought the truck until you had money to take care of everything else. Again, I would suggest going to CarMax next week and seeing what you can get for your mustang.

Brother February 10 at 3:46pm Report

but you name it- whatever in this world i gotta to show im clean ill do. I spent 3yrs fucking my life up and i ill bust my ass to get to where i wanna be

*When I “bust my ass” to get to where I want to be, the ass-busting does not include asking other people to give me money.

 Me February 10 at 4:21pm

I’m glad that you’re clean. I’d start your ass busting by putting yourself on a budget and living within your means.

365 Picture Project

Starting Feb.1, I decided I was going to take (at least) one picture every day.  This will probably mean a lot of pictures of my living room or my cat, but hopefully some fun ones will show up too.

Feb 1

My cat Keiko.  If I get bored enough, she’s going to have her own blog, “The Real House Cat of LA.”

Feb 2

The Heartbeat House.  My lovely dance studio.

Feb 3

My new running shoes

Feb 4

The view from our production meeting.  And why I live in LA.

Feb 5

Contemporary school auditions for the festival I used to work for.

Feb 6

A tackle during the Lingerie Football League Super Bowl

Feb 7

In the middle of nowhere, on the drive back to LA from Vegas.

A Pageant Piston, If You Will

When I declared an Entertainment Management major at Missouri State, there was one thing that I wanted to be: Super Bowl Halftime Coordinator. 

This year instead of watching the Halftime Show, I attended the Lingerie Football League’s Super Bowl, which airs during halfitme on Pay Per View.  By the time it was over I had several texts and facebook messages asking me if I had seen Halftime, and telling me I could have done a better job than that.  I watched it online, with pretty low expectations.  An article on Yahoo called it the worst halfitme performance in years.  I’m going to disagree.  Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t pretty.  Definitely not nearly as good as my favorite halfitme show, which was Aerosmith, N’Sync, Britney Spears, Mary J Blige and Nelly. 

Here’s what worked for me this year:

Multiple Performers:  Albeit brief appearances, Usher and Slash helped the halftime show.  Having one performer is one of my biggest pet peeves.  In recent years, Bruce Springsteen, The Who, and Prince have all made solo performances.  There’s nothing wrong with any of these people.  For me, however, the Halfitme show should be something you don’t get to see anywhere else.  Since Michael Jackson’s performance boosted ratings more than the game itself, expectations have been high.  If I wanted to see Prince perform on his own, I would go to a Prince concert.  Halftime Collaborations are key.

What didn’t work:

Dancers:  We’ve moved passed the days of dancing pop stars, boy bands, and mega-performers like Michael Jackson.  With the exception of Usher and his dancers, the dance performance seemed amateur.  It consisted largely of dancers on the field doig something 5 year olds could do while wearing glow sticks.  This isn’t an Olympic Opening Ceremony, where a country gets one chance to show the world their culture.  This is Super Bowl halftime, where beer and nacho filled people want to watch a show.  Keep it simple.  You don’t need 1000 barely choreographed people.  Give me a solid 25-100 that can actually put on a show. 

There are obviously some other things that didn’t work.  “Where is the lo\ e”  lighting mistakes for example.  Those things happen.  Remember the gaff from the Vancouver Olympic Ceremony?  Probably not.  Having some lights that don’t turn on doesn’t really matter.  Obviously, the vocals were less than stellar as well.  But when was the last time the Black Eyed Peas sounded good live?  Never?  Yeah. 

Who would you book for the 2012 Halftime Show? 

I still have a lot of thinking and coordinating to do, but I’m going to put some dates on hold for KISS and Rihanna.  She can sing “Rock and Roll All Night”… Right?

Cupcake Day

One of my favorite things about Los Angeles is Sprinkles Cupcakes.  These, for the most part, are the most delicious things on the planet.  One of my ”research projects” this year is to try every flavor of Sprinkles Cupcake.  I started the new year off trying a few, but then figured this goal is oddly working against my get skinny goal.  Then I figured the cupcakes would make the perfect reward for losing weight.  The new deal I made with myself is that if I lose 5 pounds a month, I start the next month with some cupcakes. 

I will say that I made a cupcake fail. I went on Thursday to get my reward cupcakes, particularly excited about one of their seasonal cupcakes: the raspberry chocolate chip cupcake.  Unfortunately, they did’t start selling this cupcake until the next day, so I got a banana cupcake with chocolate frosting and a chocolate marshmallow cupcake instead, with a promise to myself that if I lose 2 more pounds in the next 10 days, I’ll go back on Valentine’s Day to get the other one.  I have to say, the chocolate marshmallow cupcake is easily my least favorite cupcake to date.  I’ve also had the chai latte and mocha cupcakes, and while I didn’t really expect to like either, I didn’t think they were bad.  I don’t like coffee, and had never had mocha anything, but it was okay.  The chocolate marshmallow cupcake tasted like a crusty ding dong. 

The banana cupcakes, however, are amazing.  I had my first encounter with a banana flavored cupcake last month, when they had the banana cupcakes with peanut butter frosting to celebrate Elvis’s birthday.  I typically like banana flavored things, and thought I would like this cupcake.  I figured it would have some banana flavoring.  I was wrong.  I love these cupcakes.  They are like delicious banana bread cupcake amazingness.  I will admit to liking the peanut butter frosting a little more than the chocolate, but both were good.  They also offer it with vanilla frosting to anyone that may be interested. 

mmm…. cupcakes.